We all try to understand who we are — why we feel what we feel, and how to make sense of it.
This first post in the Understanding the Self series explores the emotional realm: what it means to truly feel, why emotions exist in contrast, and how awareness, not control — is the key to mastering them.
Your life is unique.
You get to shape it, live your message, and express it through your own experiences. We all walk different paths — but we share a common starting point: we’re born into this world as humans.
Eventually, there’s an endpoint — when we stop having experiences. What happens after that (like the afterlife) is unknown — at least to me, lol — so I won’t get into that.
A Lifelong Questioning
I’ve been trying to figure out how things work since I was young.
Who am I? Why am I here? What’s really going on around me — in my head, in my environment, in nature, among people and society?
This post is about sharing my learnings so far.
I’m 30, still in the process of figuring things out — I might be wrong, and I might not cover everything here.
The Four Realms of Self
“There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself” - Miyomoto Musashi
I break down the self into four parts — all equally important, all in balance:
Mental
Physical
Emotional
Spiritual
In this post, we’ll explore the Emotional realm.
This could be a long one — so strap in and let’s get into it.
I feel things deeply. There was a time when I used to suppress my emotions.
I thought feelings were something to ignore — that they made me weak.
But it turned out to be the opposite. Ignoring emotions held back my growth and learning. There were days emotions hit me like a storm — not because something major happened, but because life was showing me that I couldn’t keep ignoring what I felt inside.
I remember one day sitting on the side of the road, curled up and crying — I just randomly started thinking about how fucked up the world felt. That moment made me more conscious. What’s going on inside me?
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear” - Mark Twain
All the answers you need are within you — whether they relate to your feelings, your body, your mind, or your spirit.
You just have to pay attention and listen.
You don’t necessarily need to meditate or have a spiritual practice (though im sure that might help). Simply being conscious of your present experience can show you what you need to know.
The Emotional Spectrum
Recently, I reflected on my emotional experiences and realized something: the two emotions I feel most deeply are happiness and sadness.
I can feel happiness intensely — maybe even abnormally so — and I can feel sadness just as deeply. There was a connection here.
I rarely get angry — something significant has to happen for me to feel it, or so I think.
I wanted to know why and understand more, so I dove into a ChatGPT rabbit hole researching it
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What I found was the concept of the emotional spectrum — a theme that appears in philosophy, psychology, and spirituality.
Emotions exist in contrast.
Without one, the other loses its meaning.
Warning!!
Everything you do — good or bad — has consequences. Some you’ll know, some you won’t.
I can’t speak for your life, so take this as general reflection. Don’t force it or push yourself too hard.
Keep your mind, body, and spirit in balance. Let life teach you through experience. Be open, receptive, and aware.
“Control your emotion or it will control you.”
Before control comes awareness.You can’t master what you don’t notice.
When you feel something intense — fear, anger, joy, guilt — don’t rush to change it. First, notice it. Observe where it lives in your body and what it’s trying to tell you.
Control isn’t suppression — it’s understanding.
The Emotional Spectrum
These contrasts exist across all levels of our being. To evolve and deepen our life experiences, we must understand — and eventually experience — both sides.
Life has its way of teaching us each one in time. Mastering emotion begins with awareness — not control. You can’t change what you refuse to feel.
Happiness & Sadness
Fear & Courage
Despair & Hope
Anger & Forgiveness
Shame & Acceptance
Grief & Gratitude
Loneliness & Connection
Guilt & Forgiveness
Vulnerability & Strength
Boredom & Excitement
Love & Loss
Trust & Betrayal
Every emotion is a messenger.
Fear teaches caution.
Sadness teaches empathy.
Anger teaches boundaries.
Gratitude teaches appreciation.
If you listen, emotions show you what part of yourself needs attention — they’re not enemies, they’re guides.
Closing Thoughts
Leave a comment if there’s a point you’d like me to dive deeper into — I’d be happy to connect with you 1-on-1.
Learning is a lifelong process.
Take small steps every day to improve your awareness.
Nothing teaches better than life itself.
You already have the answers within you — you just need to be ready to listen.
The lessons will come when you’re ready for them.
In learning to understand and balance our emotions, we start to see how deeply they shape our thoughts, actions, and even our physical energy. Everything is connected
I am gonna leave you with a few more quotes from Miyomoto Musashi.
Mastering emotions doesn’t mean feeling less — it means responding with clarity instead of reacting in confusion. Feel deeply, but act consciously. There’s power in feeling something fully and still choosing your next step with awareness.
“Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world”
“If you know the way broadly you will see it in everything”
Peace!!